Never Say Never
by kreidy
Summary: This fanfic is mostly set in the future, and things have changed since the happy days at Central Perk....


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Never Say Never

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fanfic is rather long, and it is also mostly about the two couples on the show, Ross and Rachel, and Chandler and Monica. 

I hope you'll enjoy it and please send me some feedback at [**ariel_b@chickmail.com**][1] !

DISCLAIMER: The Friends-characters are not mine, they belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane. I'm just writing this for fun!

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PROLOGUE

New York, July 2000

Monica was nervous as she entered her apartment. A little pale, she looked around, searching for Chandler. "Chandler?" she said loudly. "Have you come home yet?" "Hi Mon!" a familiar voice replied. "I'm in the shower!" Monica sat down by the kitchen table, biting her nails. She knew that what she had to do now would be the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. But there was no other way. She didn't have a choice. Taking a deep breath, she repeated what she was going to say in her head. She didn't get very far, though, as Chandler's head popped out the door. "Hi, honey! Did you have a nice day at work? Mine was great! I asked my boss if I could get the next week off, and guess what? He said yes! So what do you say? Me and you… Let's take a trip to a nice hotel. How about Florida?" Monica sighed quietly. Why did he have to make it so difficult for her? "Because he is a great guy, and he loves you," a voice inside her head told her. 

Chandler came out of the bathroom wearing a robe. His hair was soaking wet, and he smiled at her. He leaned down and kissed her lovingly on the lips. "So, how is my favourite roommate doing?" he asked, sitting down next to her. Monica couldn't look him in the eyes, so she just stared at her hands with tears in her eyes. "Well," she said. "I've got something to tell you. I've received an offer that's too good to refuse. I can get to be a head chef at a magnificent restaurant. It would be like a dream come true.." "That's great, Mon," Chandler smiled. "I'm so happy for.." "Wait," Monica interrupted. "You haven't heard it all yet. It's not here. It's in Germany." Chandler stared at her. "And I'm going to take the job," she continued. "We'll stay in touch, you know." Monica bit her lip, trying to prevent herself from telling him the truth. "So, that's it then," Chandler asked her quietly. "I guess so," Monica stammered. "Okay, if that's the way you want it.." Chandler jumped up and walked to their bedroom shutting the door. Sobbing quietly, Monica told herself: "It is for the best, it is for the best.."

*****

She left New York a week later. Chandler hadn't said a word to her for days, but he kissed her good-bye before she left for the airport. He didn't want to go to the airport and make a scene at the gate, he said. The others came to see her off, however. Phoebe had made a song for the occasion, but she had to stop half-way through it to blow her nose. Ross and Joey did their best to stop her from going, and Rachel was a mess. She bawled her eyes out, sniffling: "But you're my best friend! You can't go!" "Yes, I do, Rach," Monica said as firmly as she could. "Take care of Chandler for me, okay?" she whispered to Rachel before boarding the plane bound for Europe.

"Please forgive me, Chandler," she murmured to herself as the plane took off. "I had to lie. I just couldn't tell you the truth." But Monica knew in her heart that her life would never be the same again.

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LONDON, MAY 2008

Monica woke up and looked around, not quite remembering where she was. But she remembered pretty quickly. The plane. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land in London. Would you please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing. We hope you had a pleasant flight," a cheery voice announced on the loudspeaker. Monica looked down on the little boy sleeping in the seat next to her. "Bryan," she whispered. "Bryan, you've got to wake up. We're almost there!" Bryan yawned and stretched his feet. Monica smiled and leaned down to the little girl on her right. "Victoria, Vicky.. honey.." The little girl snapped awake and brushed some of her brown curls out of her face. Putting her arms around her two children, Monica said quietly: "London, baby!" Vicky looked quizzically at her mother. "What do you mean?" she asked. Monica gave her daughter a smile full of melancholy and shook her head.

Bryan yawned. "May I get some ice-cream at the airport?" he begged. Monica brushed her fingers through his brown, curly hair. Bryan and Vicky were very alike, after all they were twins, but their personalities were so different. And Monica couldn't help comparing them to their father who had never seen them. He didn't even know they existed. But they were so similar to their father in so many ways. Bryan was a spitting image of his father in every way, and when Vicky smiled, it reminded her mother of the way Chandler had smiled at her when the others had not known anything about their affair. It was a shy smile, as if he were afraid that some of the others would notice. Remembering the secrecy that had surrounded their relationship in the beginning, Monica dryly said to herself that she had become a remarkable liar, and she really knew how to keep a secret.

Monica picked up their bags and got off the plane with her kids in tow. She stared down the hall inside the airport. To the thousands of people rushing past her, it was just another airport, no big deal, but to her.. She glanced down at the gate where she had been standing almost ten years ago when she left England together with her friends. She remembered leaving London with her feelings all mixed up. She had not known what to do about Chandler and the situation had been so awkward for the both of them.

"Mom?" Vicky's concerned voice brought her back to reality. "I'm sorry, honey, let's go." She started walking towards the luggage claim. Vicky and Bryan looked at each other. "What do you think it is she is thinking about? She seems to be daydreaming all the time nowadays," Bryan asked his sister. "I don't know, but I think it might have something to do with our dad," Vicky whispered. Bryan gasped at the idea. Their mom had never told them much about their father, but the twins knew from the look on her face when she actually did mention him, that he had been very special to her. "Maybe she'll tell us something," Vicky shrugged and walked over to her mom. 

Monica felt a slight shiver down her spine when she spotted the familiar hotel in the distance. The London Marriott. Maybe this had been a terrible mistake. She should never have come here in the first place. This was just a distant and painful memory now, nothing more. Yet, the thought of their time together at this hotel, the London Marriott, put a sad smile on her face. Chandler.. His name was always on her mind, although she tried to work so hard at the restaurant that she could manage to forget him. But after so many years she knew that she would never forget him. His face, his smile, his jokes and all those small habits that had annoyed her when they were just friends. Now she just thought of them as cute, although she would never admit that to anyone. 

Monica stepped out of the taxi and tried to concentrate on getting inside the hotel together with her kids. The bags were really heavy, but she didn't mind. Bryan looked at her with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Well, mom, looks like you're having a blast with those bags. I'm so glad you convinced aunt Rachel not to pick us up." Monica sighed. Bryan was just like his father. His friends loved his jokes, and he also looked like his father. One second he could be serious, and in the next he was cracking jokes. 

Vicky was more of a quiet girl, but she had a good sense of humour. Sometimes it hurt Monica that they loved to joke around all the time. It reminded her of Chandler and how their lives would have been if he had been around. They would have adored him, just as much as she loved him. And deep down she hoped that he would have enjoyed being a father as well. But Monica forced herself to think about the reality again. "Why do I keep hanging on to memories?" she asked herself. "It's no use in it anyway." The reality was that she was a single mother with a couple of kids who had no idea who their father was. And it was going to stay that way. 

The hotel had not changed at all. It was exactly ten years since she had been there, and it looked the same. Monica had asked for the room where it happened that night. The room that had been Chandler and Joey's hotel-room.

The twins went to bed while Monica was looking out the window. Monica chuckled. The whole idea was so stupid. She had found out that if she wanted to move on, she had to see the place where the affair had started just one more time. But it was not working, at least not yet. 

She knew that Chandler was living somewhere on the east coast near New York, but here, in a hotel-room on the other side of the world, she felt closer to him than ever. It was almost like he was standing right behind her, caressing her arms and kissing her neck before telling some lame joke that made her crack up and turn around to face him. 

Monica hadn't noticed, but all of a sudden she felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She quickly dried them away and remembered that night more than eight years ago. That was the night that Chandler had kissed her good-night as usual, and then headed off to bed. Monica had walked back into the bathroom and looked at the test she had hidden. It showed what she had been suspecting the last month. She was pregnant. 

The thought had not crossed her mind the night it had happened. They had been cuddling on the bed as usual, but when she had searched her drawer for a condom, they had realised there was no one left. She smiled at the memory. They had looked at each other. Monica had turned to her boyfriend with a hesitant look on her face. "It looks like we have to put that thing on hold," she had said with a slight smile on her face. "Because we're out of birth control." "No-o-o," Chandler sighed. She had laid back down on the bed while she had caressed his face. "Don't worry about it," she had smiled. "I'll make it up to you later." Chandler had gently kissed her forehead before she laid her head on his chest. He held her hand and squeezed it tightly. A few moments had passed. "Oh, I don't care," he had murmured. "It's not that big of a risk anyway." And suddenly she had felt his caresses, so familiar, but yet they always managed to make her realise just how much she loved him. 

When she had been standing in the bathroom staring at the test while the word "pregnant" went about in her head like a chant, she had started to wonder whether if it had actually been worth it. A few hours of passion and love. She had tried to imagine how Chandler would react when she told him the news, but she knew that he would totally freak out. Perhaps he wouldn't say it, but he would definitely think of himself as an unfit father. 

She remembered every little thing that had happened the night that she had discovered her pregnancy. She had laid down on the bed next to Chandler wondering what to do, while he had put his arm around her, not knowing that Monica was upset. She had been walking around like some sort of ghost the next week, but finally she had realised that she couldn't go through with an abortion. She already loved the life that was growing inside her, and she knew that that baby was what she had always wanted. But she had never imagined herself being so terrified and sad when her dream about children was finally about to come true. Monica had known that she had to leave New York, at least until the baby was born. Hopefully, she would have the strength to tell him by then.

She had left a little while later telling everybody that she had got a job offer in Germany. Monica told him that she would come back, and Chandler was too shocked to stop her. She had in fact gone to Europe, and she had worked in cities like Paris, Rome, Berlin and Geneva. They had kept in touch during the first year, but after the twins were born, she was terrified that he would hear them on the phone. He would undoubtedly ask her questions if he heard someone call her "mommy".

A couple of days before she gave birth to Vicky and Bryan, she had confided in Rachel. Monica chuckled at the memory of Rachel screaming through the phone. "You're WHAT?" she had cried. "You're pregnant?" Monica had lived in Berlin at the time, and Rachel had arrived to help her just in time before the twins were born. She had sworn her friend to secrecy, realising that she did not have the guts to tell Chandler that he now was a father. A couple of years later Rachel had got a job in London, and she had been thrilled to work there since she would get to meet Monica, her godson and goddaughter more often. Rachel had tried to persuade Monica to tell Chandler about his kids, but Monica had flatly refused. And Monica hadn't talked to her former boyfriend for years now.

Monica gazed out of the window. The sky was pitch dark, although she felt like she had been standing there for an eternity. She turned around and stared at her son and daughter with tears in her eyes. She couldn't help wondering what would have happened if she had stayed with him and told him that she was pregnant. Perhaps they would have got married. Perhaps they would have been a happy family living in a suburban house with a car, a dog.. Monica's thoughts trailed off. These were dangerous thoughts, and she needed to focus on meeting Rachel now. She was looking forward to it as she hadn't seen her best friend since Christmas. Monica decided to go to bed and fell asleep pretty quickly due to the jetlag. 

*****

The sun was shining when Monica and her children entered the restaurant where they were supposed to meet Rachel. Monica smiled as Rachel ran over to her, giving her a hug. "Oh, my god! I've missed you guys so much!" Rachel cried. Rachel hadn't changed much, Monica thought. She was dressed in the latest fashion, and Monica knew that her clothes weren't exactly cheap. But she could afford it, after all, she was working at Chanel.

"Hi, Rachel! It's so good to see you again!" Monica grinned. Rachel gave Vicky and Bryan a hug as well. "Hi, aunt Rachel," Bryan grinned. Vicky smiled shyly. "So are you guys hungry?" Rachel asked. The two children nodded. "Good. Let's sit down and eat, and then we'll have some ice-cream. And why don't we go sightseeing afterwards?" The two children were jumping up and down with joy. Monica shrugged. "It sounds like a great plan, but Rachel, would you mind going alone? You see, I need to do something on my own." Rachel assured her that it wouldn't be a problem, and the four of them sat down by a table studying the menu. 

Rachel kept glancing at Monica who was busy trying to keep her children calm in the elaborate restaurant. But Monica's eyes caught Rachel's interest. The quiet pain that she saw there broke her heart. She knew Monica would never forget Chandler, but she had never realised until now just how much she missed him and loved him.

Monica turned to Rachel asking for news about the old gang. "How are they? I haven't heard from them in a while," she said. Rachel hesitated a little. "Well, I'm still single, but I have my job, and I love it. I miss you guys, though. Why don't you move here?" Monica shook her head. "My life is in Switzerland now," she said. "I've got a great job, and Vicky and Bryan are in school." "And we're all so excited about that.." Bryan said sarcastically. Rachel and Monica laughed. "Just like his father," Rachel grinned. Monica looked at her with a shocked expression on her face. "I told you not to mention him!" she whispered. Rachel took her hand. "I'm sorry," she said as Vicky and Bryan stared at their "aunt" curiously. "Did you know my dad?" Vicky wondered. "No, I just meant.. No, I didn't know him.." Rachel stammered out. "She didn't know him. I promise you," Monica assured her daughter. But Bryan and Vicky kept looking suspiciously at them until the food was served. Then they seemed to forget everything about the father they had never known. 

"So, what about the other guys?" Monica asked cautiously. She felt like Rachel could see right through her, because she had a feeling Rachel knew that what she really wanted to ask was: "What about Chandler?" 

Rachel took a deep breath. "Well, Joey has moved to Chicago. He got a role in a musical there." "Joey in a musical?" Monica was rather surprised. "Yeah, apparently he sings pretty well. Remember, Phoebe always told us that he had a beautiful voice." "Yeah, but still.." Monica smiled at the thought. "Anyway," Rachel continued. "Phoebe is engaged, and she just moved to Los Angeles. Her fiancé is one of those bike-cops." "Oh my gosh! But why haven't you told me about any of this in your letters?" Monica wondered. "Well, I like to gossip, so I wanted to tell you in person," Rachel admitted sheepishly. "I guess you have spoken with Ross yourself?" Monica nodded. "So, what's he up to these days?" Rachel asked. She averted her eyes from Monica's curious gaze. "He's still working at the museum. The dinosaurs haven't changed much over the last decade, you know." Monica laughed at her own joke. 

A few moments passed, then Monica continued. "Well, in case you're wondering, he's seeing someone at the moment." "Why would I be wondering about that?" Rachel said with a fake laugh. It was obvious that she was lying. "He deserves happiness. If that woman makes him happy.. Well, Mon, you know as well as me how much I love your brother, but we always made so many mistakes, so it wouldn't have worked." "I'm not so sure about that, and you should never say never," Monica mused. "Oh, by the way, I did tell you that he's coming to London, right?" Rachel stared at her, her jaw dropping. "He's what?" "Oh, my god, you didn't know that?" Monica cried. 

It turned out that Ross had told Monica he wanted to tell Rachel himself, but according to Rachel she hadn't heard from him in months. Rachel was shocked, but she tried to act normal. "That doesn't matter. When is he coming?" "Well, considering that you had no idea he is coming, you should prepare yourself for a second shock. I'm going to meet him tomorrow. Actually, he arrives today, but he had to go directly to the museum to help them with some ancient bones." Rachel felt totally numb. Ross was coming, he was here, in London. London was huge, but suddenly she felt happy, scared and anxious at the same time. What if she ran into him on the street or something?

"..tomorrow. Is that okay?" Monica looked questioningly at her. Rachel snapped back to reality. "Pardon me?" she stammered out. Monica smiled. " I said: He will be joining us for dinner tomorrow. Is that okay?" "Sure, it will be nice to catch up," Rachel said, her voice sounding very weird. She cleared her voice. "Well, I'm glad that you decided to tell him about the twins," Rachel blurted out. Monica stayed surprisingly calm. "Yeah, he enjoys being an uncle," she said, feeling a lump in her throat, but she managed to go on. "How is Chandler doing these days?" Rachel looked down at her plate. "I.. I don't know how to tell you this, but, well, he got married last year." 

Monica's eyes went wide in shock, and she dropped her glass on the floor. The glass broke into a thousand pieces, and everybody in the restaurant stared at her. A waiter came running and started picking up the pieces while Bryan and Vicky exchanged worried glances. Monica thought that the glass might as well have been her heart. It was just as broken. But on the other hand, what did she expect? He wasn't going to wait for her forever when she had abandoned him several years ago. She looked up at Rachel again. "Who's the lucky girl?" she asked hoarsely. "I don't know her. It's a girl working at his office." "I see. Well, I'm happy for them. Really, I am. I just don't understand how she got him down the aisle. What did she do? Point a gun to his head?" 

Rachel and Monica had lowered their voices now, so that the children would not be able to hear what they were talking about. "Monica, I'm sorry. I know I should have told you sooner, but I hoped I might be able to help you if I told you when you came here." "I understand." Monica tried to smile, but she failed miserably. "Have you seen her?" she asked. "Well, I saw a photo of her once. Pretty young, and she's supposed to be rather rich. But Monica, don't you remember? Chandler proposed to you twice! From what I've heard, she, I think her name is Amy, had to propose to him several times before he agreed to go through with it. That has got to make you feel better, right? He obviously loved you more than her!" "Well, it doesn't," Monica replied angrily. "I guess I just realise how stupid I was back then when I turned him down. Oh, and by the way, he proposed to me three times, well, kind of, anyway. When we were at the hospital the night that Ben was born, he suggested that we'd get together and have a child of our own when we were 40 years old if we both were still single. I guess it wasn't a real proposal, but I think it was really cute. But here I am, I am almost 40 and sitting in London with his two children. Why? Why did I have to end up like this?" 

Monica started sobbing, and Rachel hugged her. The patrons around them stared at the whole thing as they were not used to that kind of emotions in public. Rachel noticed it and yelled angrily: "Oh, stop it! She's just having a hard time right now, alright? Now, go back to your salads!" To Rachel's astonishment, they obeyed and left them alone. 

Vicky and Bryan were confused. They had never seen their mother this upset before. Although they had often seen her sad, she had never cried in front of them before. Vicky had always wondered why her mother was sad. When she had asked her about it, her mother had merely put on a fake smile and exclaimed that nothing was wrong. But even though Vicky was only seven years old, she thought she had a pretty good idea why. It had to have something to do with their father. 

Vicky had asked her mother about her father numerous times, but her mother had only said that he had left years ago, and she had no idea where he was. Her mom had told her a little about him, however. Vicky knew the words by heart: "He was my best friend and my soul mate. We loved each other, and he always knew how to put a smile on my face. But we weren't meant to be." Vicky really missed having a father. Her mother had been dating a couple of guys over the years, but none of them came close to becoming a father to her and her brother. She knew Bryan would have loved having a father as well, someone to play soccer with, or someone who could stand up for them when their mom ordered them to clean their rooms twice a day. Vicky sighed. But that would never happen. She tried to hear what Rachel was saying to her mom, but it was impossible, so she started eating ice-cream instead. 

Monica and Rachel pulled away from each other, and Rachel tried to cheer her up with a smile. "It's going to be okay, Mon," she said reassuringly, and with that they started concentrating on their desserts again.

*****

After lunch, Rachel and Monica took the two kids to Hyde Park. The two friends sat down on a bench, just enjoying the beautiful day. Spring had finally come to London, and the numerous beds of flowers in the city's many parks had exploded into thousands of colours. The flowers were moving back and forth in the mild breeze, and Vicky and Bryan joined several other kids and started playing soccer. 

"So, why did you really come to London, Monica?" Rachel asked quietly as they were watching the twins playing soccer. Monica turned around quickly to face her. "What do you mean?" she said hesitatingly. "I wanted you to meet my kids. It's been a long time.." Rachel interrupted her. "Stop it, Mon. I know you better than that. I saw Bryan and Victoria a couple of months ago when I celebrated Christmas together with you guys in Switzerland, remember?" Rachel's eyes were urging Monica to tell the truth. "Okay," Monica sighed. "Do you remember when Ross got married to Emily here in London? Wait a minute, that's a silly question, of course you do. Anyway, that's when Chandler and I.. well, how shall I put it.. shared our first night together." "In other words, you had sex?" Rachel grinned mischievously at her. Monica nodded. "Oh, by the way, I knew that. You told me that years ago. What about it?" 

Rachel was curious now, and Monica just shrugged. "It's ten years since that night tomorrow." Rachel gasped. "Oh, my.. So, that's the real reason?" Monica nodded with a slight chuckle. "Pathetic, huh? Going to the place where we actually got together on what could have been our ten years anniversary. This should have been our day. We could have come here together, maybe we would have been married. Instead I'm sitting here with his two beautiful kids while he's married to another woman." "Well, I wouldn't use the word "pathetic", I think "absurd" would be more proper." Monica glared at her, causing Rachel to go silent. 

The two women sat there for a couple of moments, both of them were completely lost in thought. A bird was chirping in a tree nearby, but they didn't even notice. They were just sitting there, grabbing onto every precious memory that they had from that time long ago, when things had been so much easier. 

Monica's voice broke the silence. "Do you remember how Phoebe's songs never ever made any sense?" Rachel grinned. "Yeah, and all that fuss about Chandler looking gay." "And that time we actually had to live in the guys' apartment!" "And when we almost started a fire burning the stuff that had belonged to our former boyfriends!" "And when we were poking Ugly Naked Guy!" Roaring with laughter, Monica and Rachel knew that they would cherish all those memories forever. 

Monica glanced at her watch. "Well, I better get going. Are you sure you'll be able to handle those.." She looked over at her children who were still playing and groaned. "..those two kids covered in mud?" Rachel smiled. "Sure. No problem, Mon. I'll take them back to my place. I've got a bath there. I think they'll need it. We'll meet you at the hotel in four hours, okay?" Monica agreed and waved good-bye to Rachel, Vicky and Bryan. 

*****

Monica strolled through the streets of London. She just needed some time on her own to think about the past. It was weird walking around like this. Ever since the kids were born, she had been busy taking care of them, scared that something might happen to them. She didn't know why she was so afraid, maybe it was because she was feeling guilty about Chandler. But the twins had turned out just fine this far. 

She went shopping in Kensington and Oxford Street before she rode the "tube" down to the Thames. Enjoying the view, she sat down on a bench and put down her bags. She could see the Parliament and the Big Ben. Ten years ago she had hardly had any time at all to go sightseeing. She had been trying her bridesmaid's dress and helping Ross decorate the church. "All that fuss for nothing," she thought with a smile on her face. 

Monica sat there for about an hour until she realised that she was freezing. Picking up her bags, she was getting ready to leave for the tube station when she heard someone gasp behind her. "Oh, my god! Mon – Monica, is that you?" the voice cried. 

Monica felt numb. She would have recognised that voice anywhere. She couldn't move at first, she merely stared down at the bags that she had dropped upon hearing the voice. Clearing her voice, she turned around to face the person. And yes, it was him. Monica stared breathlessly at the guy she had been dreaming about for 10 years, Chandler, while she felt dizzy. It became hard for her to see clearly, and he rushed over to her, helping her to sit down on the bench again. "Oh, my gosh, it really is you! I wasn't absolutely sure, but I caught a glimpse of your face, so I realised that it was you. Well, I'm glad, otherwise I would have made a total fool out of myself." He looked at her worriedly. "Are you okay?" Monica nodded. "I.. I'm fine. I'm just a little shocked. I mean, I had never expected to see _you_ here." She smiled vaguely at him. 

"Wow, Mon, how long has it been? 8 years?" "Almost." Monica looked down. She noticed the bags and could see that the vase she had bought for Rachel was broken. "See what you made me do?" she said jokingly. " I lost all of my bags when I heard you say my name." It was a bad joke, but she didn't know what to say. "Well, we lost eight years," Chandler said quietly. 

Monica's eyes snapped open, and she stared at him. He looked older, but it suited him. The biggest difference, however, was that he had a moustache. Monica smiled. "When did that happen?" she asked pointing to his upper lip. Chandler looked confused at first, but then he realised what Monica was talking about. "Oh, yeah, I've had it for years now. If you had been around, you would have discovered it ages ago," he said bitterly. Monica didn't know what to say, and Chandler stared down at his shoes. An awkward silence ensued as Monica continued to look at him. He had some wrinkles around his eyes, but he was still the same Chandler. She glanced down and noticed a beautiful gold ring on his left hand. She quickly averted her eyes from the sight. So, it was in fact true. He was married. 

Monica cleared her throat. "Chandler.. I know it was wrong of me to leave New York for a job, but I was different back then. My career was so important to me, but there are other things that are more important than my job. I've come to realise that now." Chandler didn't reply, he just stared off into space. 

Monica hoped he would never find out that she had lied to him back then and even now. But in a way she had told him the truth. She knew that nothing was more important to her than her family. Chandler finally started speaking again. "Yeah, well, we were both young and stupid at the time. Never mind. I'm not mad at you. But why are you here? Ross told me you were living in Switzerland." She nodded. "Yeah, I am. I'm just visiting Rachel. She works here, you know." "Oh, I forgot about that," Chandler replied. "Chanel, right?"

Monica couldn't believe it. Here she was, in London, sitting next to the father of her children, only he didn't know that, of course. Suddenly, she felt terrified. What if he found out about them? She knew that he would never forgive her, because she had done a terrible thing to him. If only she managed to keep it a secret! She hadn't noticed that he was staring at her. "So, aren't you going to ask me what I'm doing here?" he said with a slight chuckle. Monica laughed. "Sure." 

He started talking before she could say anything else. "You probably remember the WENUS and the ANUS, right? Well, I'm here to promote the systems to our colleagues in London." 

They sat there for a couple of hours talking about the old times, but both of them avoided the time when they had been together. When they got up to leave, Monica gave him his jacket back. He had given it to her so that she would not freeze to death. "This was nice," he said. "It really was great seeing you again," she replied. "Hey, here's a thought. Why don't you join me and Rachel for dinner tonight?" Chandler accepted the invitation and got a taxi and drove off. Monica kept staring at the taxi until it was gone before picking up her bags and walking towards the tube station. 

*****

Vicky and Bryan found their mother's behaviour very odd that afternoon. She was even more nervous and picky than usual, and she ran around trying to find a dress she could wear that night. "Geez, mom. What's the big deal? It's just us and Rachel," Bryan said, trying to calm his mother down. "Oh, that's right," Monica said nervously. "You guys, I'm sorry, but you can't come. You'll have to stay here. I'll order some pizza for you, okay? And the hotel has got a nanny, and she's coming in a couple of minutes to look after you while I'm at the restaurant." "Why can't we come?" Bryan asked. "Well, Rachel and I have to discuss something.. in private.." 

Monica hoped they wouldn't understand that she was lying. Bryan and Vicky reluctantly agreed, but as soon as the pizzas arrived, their faces lit up, reminding their mother of her old friend, Joey, and his love for pizzas. 

Monica had not talked to neither him nor Phoebe for some time now, but her two old friends were planning on paying them a visit in Switzerland as soon as possible. Monica remembered how shocked Phoebe had been when she had told her about the twins. But that was nothing compared to Joey's reaction to the news. He couldn't believe that his best friend, Chandler, was a father. Monica had sworn him to secrecy, knowing that Joey might let it slip to Chandler. But she had trusted him anyway, because he had kept the secret about her and Chandler in the beginning of their relationship.

Monica finally decided to wear a maroon dress. She could think of two reasons for picking that one. First of all, it resembled the one she had been wearing at the rehearsal dinner ten years ago, and second of all she remembered that time when she and Chandler had been sitting in his chair doing a crossword-puzzle. He had suggested maroon as a "six-letter word for red". Monica realised that she was acting like a total loser, but she never allowed herself to act like this at home, so she figured she could do it in London. "Hell, I was acting crazy last time I was in London as well," she thought with a sad smile. 

The restaurant was modern, but it had a nice and pleasant atmosphere. Situated in a popular part of London, the restaurant was crowded, but Rachel had pulled some strings and managed to get them a table by the window. She was already there and so was Chandler. His back was facing her, so Rachel discovered her first. Rachel waved at her, and Monica walked over to their table. Chandler looked up, and his jaw dropped at the sight of her. Surprised by his reaction, she suddenly felt very aware of herself. He jumped up and pulled out the chair for her. 

Monica looked up at him and noticed that the moustache was gone. "Hey, what happened to the moustache?" she grinned. Rachel looked curiously at them. Chandler turned to her and told her that he had wanted to make sure that Rachel would recognise him. The two women giggled and exchanged looks. Monica had called Rachel and persuaded her not to tell Chandler about the kids. She had agreed to do it, but she wasn't too happy about it. 

The dinner went smoothly. The three old friends had a great time reminiscing about all the crazy things they had experienced while they had been living in New York. Monica told Chandler that Ross was in London as well, and they were meeting him the next day. Chandler insisted on joining them as he hadn't seen his friend since his own wedding where Ross had been the best man. Monica went silent when Chandler brought up the subject, and Rachel noticed it. Luckily, the waiter started bringing them the desert, so they didn't have to talk that much. 

Rachel could see that Chandler glanced at Monica all the time. He seemed to be mesmerised by her, and Rachel suddenly remembered something Phoebe once said about "lobsters." She had called her and Ross "lobsters", but Rachel kept thinking that the "couple" in front of her was more likely to be the pair of lobsters in their old group. Maybe they had a chance of getting back together again, because Rachel could tell that they were still in love. 

Suddenly, they heard a child sobbing at the entrance. "You can't enter the restaurant," one of the waiters scolded. "But my mom is in there!" the child cried and ran into the restaurant frantically looking for her mother. Monica gasped as she realised that it was Vicky. Her brown curls danced up and down as she ran from one table to another, until she spotted Monica. "Mom!" she cried and jumped into her mother's lap. "I'm afraid! It was so dark!" Kissing her forehead, Monica put her arm around her daughter. "Shh.. It's going to be okay," she whispered, rocking Vicky gently. 

Monica looked up and found Rachel smiling at the two of them. Chandler, on the other hand, looked shocked. "That's your daughter?" he stammered out. "You're a mother?" "I think I'll have to answer yes to both of your questions," Monica replied, still trying to calm down her shivering daughter. Monica didn't know what to do. Running out of the restaurant seemed like a wonderful solution, but she felt like she couldn't get away from Chandler this time. She knew she had to tell him the truth sooner or later, but she had hoped it would be "later". Now it seemed like the time had come to confess. She knew she could lie to him this time as well, but when he found out when Vicky and Bryan were born, he would know he was their father. 

She glanced down at the half-eaten piece of apple-pie in front of her and then at Rachel. "Would you excuse us for a second?" she said to Rachel as she stood up carrying her daughter. "Come on, Chandler, I've got something to tell you." Rachel gave her the thumbs-up sign as Monica left the restaurant with a confused Chandler in tow. 

They walked down the corridor to the room where Monica and her children were staying. "This better be good. It's not every day I get to eat delicious English apple-pie, you know," Chandler joked, but Monica didn't even smile at the joke. She just looked at him and said quietly: "Come here, I've got to show you something." 

Chandler tried to find out what she was up to by studying her face, but instead he realised how much she had changed since she left him eight years ago. Back then he had known her so well that he almost always knew what she was up to. But today he had no idea. At first he had been shocked to see her in the city, and now she had revealed to him that she was a mother. "Well, I guess I should have seen that one coming. She always wanted kids of her own," he said to himself. 

Monica took his hand and led him over to one of the beds in the hotel-room. A little boy was sleeping peacefully there. "Chandler, I'd like you to meet my son, Bryan," Monica said as she laid Vicky down on the other bed, " and this is my daughter, Victoria." "Wow, you've been busy." Chandler couldn't help the sarcastic remark. Monica sighed. "Please, Chandler, I'm really not in the mood." Chandler shrugged. "They're twins," Monica continued. Chandler looked blankly at her. "So, where's the father? Let me guess, you met the man of your dreams, moved to Switzerland, tied the knot there and had twins, right? You know, Ross told me about your fantasy. The one where you meet a guy from foreign country." Monica shook her head. "Chandler, I.." Chandler put up his hand to stop her. "No, Mon. I don't want to hear it. In case you didn't know this, I used to love you. Now, I don't know what you're trying to do to me here, but you're hurting me, and that's what you wanted, right? Well, I'm happy for you, your husband and your kids. Now, if you don't mind, I think I've still got some apple-pie left downstairs." 

He turned around and started walking towards the door. Monica ran over to him and grabbed his arm. "Chandler, please! Would you just let me finish before you start to jump to any conclusions?" He looked angrily at her. "Fine. Go ahead," he said through gritted teeth. 

"The twins were born February 6th, 2001," Monica explained. "Does it ring a bell?" Chandler stared blankly at her. "Why should there be any bells ringing?" he asked. "Well, you seem to be extremely mad at me already, so here it comes. I'm not married, okay? I've never been married. You see, these kids," she pointed at Vicky and Bryan who were now sleeping, "have never known their father." She stared at her hands. "Well, I guess there's nothing left to do, but confess." Monica took a deep breath. "You're their father, Chandler."

She might as well have slapped him in the face. Chandler went pale. He sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. Monica hesitated a bit before she walked over to him and sat next to him. "But.. But.. I mean, how could that be? Are you sure?" Chandler's voice was barely audible. "Of course I'm sure. And don't you remember that night when we decided to take the risk?" Chandler looked up at Monica, and she could see it in his eyes that he remembered now. 

Chandler felt like his head was about to explode. He was a father! He had two kids! "Why, Mon?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me? How could you do this to me? Did you think of telling me at all?" Monica got up and walked over to the window. She gathered some strength and turned around to face him. She gazed into his eyes, but she could only find sadness there. He didn't seem furious, just unbelievably sad. She started sobbing. "Oh, my god. I wanted to tell you when I found out I was pregnant, but I was so afraid that you would say you weren't ready for that yet. But I was, I was so ready for it, Chandler! I knew I couldn't go through with an abortion, so I made up a story, told you I had received a job offer and headed off to Europe. And I've been living in Europe ever since. It's not that bad. I mean, the TV-channels suck, but the food is great!" Monica made a face at her own terrible attempt at cracking a joke. She turned away from him, trying to stop the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Without a word, Chandler stood up, turned her around and pulled her into a hug. They stood like that for what seemed like an eternity to Monica. He stroked her hair, but he didn't utter a word. Finally, he pulled away and walked over to the beds where the kids were sleeping. Unable to fully understand that he was their father, he stared at them, trying to find a resemblance between himself and them. Monica looked at him, and she finally realised just how hurt he was. "You do believe me, don't you?" she asked nervously. "I mean, you could take a DNA-test if you don't believe me, but they're yours. They really, truly are yours." "I hear you." Monica scrutinised his face to find out what he was thinking. 

Chandler looked up at her and started walking towards the door. "Well, it's getting late. I've got to go." "But, Chandler, aren't you going to say anything?" Monica asked nervously. She had expected him to become furious or something, not this! "Look, I'll meet you guys tomorrow at breakfast, okay? And I demand that you take those two with you. It's about time I get to know my own children," he said quickly before exiting the room. 

Monica sighed and sat down on the couch. "Well, at least he didn't throw things," she murmured. However, if that had happened, she would have been prepared and known what to do, she could handle anger and rage. But now, well, she didn't have the slightest idea what to do. She kept wondering about this as she went to bed. She fell asleep rather quickly, though, but she dreamed about what would happen the next day.

*****

Monica snapped awake as Vicky and Bryan started jumping up and down in their beds. "We're in England! Oh, I want to buy toys in England!" Bryan screamed excitedly. Nodding her head, Vicky showed that she really liked that suggestion. 

The children became surprised when Monica told them that they were going to spend the day with an old friend of hers. Excited about the trip, they didn't seem to mind, though. 

Chandler was waiting for them in the lobby. They decided to spend the day in one of London's parks and then go shopping. Monica couldn't help smiling. Chandler kept staring at his kids. It seemed like he still couldn't quite believe that he was a father. Monica watched him throwing a Frisbee to his son while Vicky was jumping up and down screaming: "Throw it to me, throw it to me!" Vicky was a very shy little girl, but she had liked Chandler instantly.

Rubbing her temples, Monica sat down on a bench, closed her eyes and let the sun warm her face. "So far, so good," she thought. Now, she only needed to know what Chandler wanted to do with the whole thing. Luckily, he seemed to enjoy the kids' company, so that was not a problem anymore. But what about the fact that he lived in the USA and she lived in Switzerland? And what would Bryan and Vicky think when they found out that he was their father? And what about Amy, Chandler's wife? Monica did not know if she could bear meeting her, but she was an important part of Chandler's life now, and Amy would also become the kids' stepmother. 

Monica had thought that she had moved on, but the mere thought of Chandler being married to another woman, loving another woman, and kissing another woman gave her a head-ache. She opened her eyes again. But it was no use in pretending, because she saw the wedding ring on his left hand reflecting the sunshine as a reminder of the reality. She turned away and put her head in her hands.

Chandler thought the whole situation was completely surreal. Yesterday he had just been another American in London trying to figure out how to get to Piccadilly Circus, and here he was, playing together with his kids. When he had first found out about them, he had been furious with Monica, but he had done a great job hiding it. But when he remembered how he had been acting eight years ago, he kind of understood why Monica had acted the way she did. He stopped running after the Frisbee and imagined how it would have been if she had told him about her pregnancy. He could have been right by Monica's side when she had given birth to Bryan and Vicky.. He would have been able to watch their two kids grow up.. Chandler looked down as Bryan grabbed his leg with a mischievous grin. "Fetch the Frisbee, Chandler! My sister and I command you to do it, or else you can't play together with us tomorrow," he smirked, satisfied with his threat. Chandler smiled and started looking for the Frisbee again. 

*****

Rachel had always found her job interesting, but today all she did was daydreaming. She was so happy that Monica finally had told Chandler about him being a father. She only hoped they could work out their differences, at least for the children's sake. But there was something else that she couldn't help thinking about, as well. Ross. She hadn't seen him or talked to him for years. Unable to attend Chandler's wedding, she had missed the opportunity to see her old friends again. "Who would have thought that Chandler would get married first?" she mumbled with a slight smile on her face. 

But Ross.. Her former "husband". They had been so close, but now they had grown apart. She could not wait to see him again. And he was actually going to come to her work at 5 p.m. to pick her up. Monica was supposed to come, but she had decided to spend the entire day together with her family. Rachel knew they would probably never get back together again, but she hoped that they could stay best friends.

Ross arrived at five and smiled warmly at her. "Monica called me and told me to meet you here. She said she was going to be out all day, so she couldn't meet me here," he said. "Oh, it's so good to see you again, Rach!" He gave her a hug. "I hope you're not too disappointed about your sister not meeting you here?" Rachel asked. Ross laughed and assured her that he was okay with it as long as he got to see his niece and nephew before returning to the States. 

They went to a nice restaurant, and Rachel was thrilled to see that they were best friends again. It was almost as if they were back at Central Perk again, laughing and lamenting about their careers and relationships. Sitting down by a table in the restaurant, she tried to concentrate on her menu, but she kept glancing at Ross. He looked older, but then again, who didn't? One could not stay 25 years old forever. 

Rachel told him about Chandler and Monica, and Ross was relieved to hear about it. "I felt so guilty knowing about the twins and that my sister would kill me if I told my best friend that he was their father. But what could I do? She forced me to keep my mouth shut about it." Rachel grinned. "So, she threatened you?" "Yeah, kind of," Ross smiled sheepishly. "Well, she made me genuinely frightened. Let's just say that it wouldn't have been a pretty sight." Rachel rolled her eyes and chuckled as she imagined Monica beating her brother up. "I'm really glad she decided to tell him, though," Rachel mused. 

They had a great time at the restaurant. Ross told Rachel about Phoebe and Joey, who he had met a couple of weeks ago, and Rachel told him about her work and the twins. Although she did not want to ask, Rachel was a little curious about his girlfriend. She had actually thought that he would have settled down by now. Smiling a little, she pictured him together with three kids, a wife, a big car and a dog, the typical American suburban family. 

"What are you smiling at?" Ross wondered. Rachel looked down at her plate. "Nothing," she said quickly as she realised that she still had feelings for him. "Damn it," she mumbled. She had thought she was over him by now, but that was obviously wrong. 

"Rachel?" Ross looked questioningly at her. "What's the matter?" Rachel apologised. "It's nothing.. really.. How are you these days? What is new with you?" she asked quickly. "Well, we just found a new bone in South Dakota that will.." Rachel gave him a funny look. Smiling sheepishly at her, he continued: "Well, you know what I'm talking about." "Actually, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I was talking about _your_ life, not some life that ended millions of years ago," Rachel smirked. 

Ross started telling her about Ben and his mothers and his own parents. "They're actually happy for Monica now, you know. And they're so proud of their grandchildren," he said, "but it wouldn't hurt if they showed it once in a while." Finally, he told her that he was quite happy at the moment. He gazed into her eyes and smiled sadly. "But I'd really like to have you and Monica around again. It just hasn't been the same since you guys left the country." He grabbed her hand. "Why don't you come back to New York? You'll find yourself a job there, and we can hang out at the coffee house again. It'll be just like the old days. Well, Phoebe, Joey and Monica won't be there, but you and I and Chandler would have a great time together!"

Rachel smiled and stroked his chin. "The past can't be revived, Ross," she sighed. "There would be new persons in the group, like Chandler's wife and your girlfriend. It would never work because I don't think they are neither an Italian sex-addict nor a tone-deaf singer." Ross chuckled. "I wouldn't be too sure if I were you," he said. "You really haven't heard?"

*****

Chandler glanced at his watch. It was getting late, and they needed to go back to the hotel. He walked over to the bench where Monica was sitting. She had actually fallen asleep, and she had a small smile on her face. "Yes, of course," she mumbled in her sleep. "Vicky, Bryan and Chandler, come on, it's time for dinner," she continued. Chandler giggled. Monica was talking in her sleep again, and he suddenly remembered how she had been talking in her sleep while she had been lying in Chandler's arms several years ago. She had become so embarrassed when Chandler had told her about the new wonder-mop she had been talking about in her sleep. That was not something that Amy would have done. 

Chandler sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Monica sighed and snuggled closer to him. Suddenly, she opened her eyes. She touched his chin and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "Hello, honey," she murmured. It was obvious that she wasn't completely awake yet, because suddenly she jumped up, shocked by what she had done. Chandler looked surprised at her. "Wow, that was unexpected," he said. Monica turned away from him to hide her blushing cheeks. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I'm going to go and get Vicky and Bryan now. We have to get back to the hotel." She stormed off, while Chandler was staring at her. He put his head in his hands. Why did it have to be so hard? Perhaps if Phoebe had written a song about the situation, it wouldn't have seemed so hopeless. He laughed a bit before trying to figure out what to do. First of all, he needed to become a real father for Vicky and Bryan. He had really enjoyed spending the day together with them. They were great kids, and he had to admit that Monica had done a great job raising them all by herself so far. But he wanted to be a part of their lives as well.

*****

Rachel had invited them all over to her apartment in the evening. It was a really nice place, and Rachel proudly announced that she could actually afford living on her own now. Chandler and Ross were the first ones to arrive, and they were happy to see each other again. 

Meanwhile, Monica was talking to Bryan and Vicky in the taxi. She didn't dare to look into their eyes when she quietly told them that the man they had been playing with the whole day was actually their father. Vicky and Bryan gasped and couldn't believe the bomb their mother had dropped on them. "You mean, he's my dad?" Vicky asked breathlessly. "Yes." Monica looked at them. "I'm really sorry I haven't told you sooner, but I was afraid. Anyway, he's going to be at aunt Rachel's tonight, so why don't you get to know him better?"

The taxi stopped by the building where Rachel lived. It was modern, exactly the stuff that Rachel liked. Monica grabbed Vicky and Bryan's hands and smiled encouragingly at them. "It's going to be okay," she told them, but she was not too sure herself. Inside, Rachel, Chandler and Ross were waiting for her. She had to face them now. 

Bryan jumped up to knock on Rachel's door, and his godmother immediately appeared in the doorframe. "Welcome to Casa Rachel!" she grinned. Monica gave her a hug. "How was your afternoon with Ross?" she whispered. "Oh, great! Couldn't be better!" Rachel beamed. Monica looked questioningly at her. "What's going on?" she asked. Shaking her head, Rachel pulled Monica towards the living-room and smiled at Ross. 

Vicky and Bryan were standing next to Chandler staring at him. Chandler looked up at Monica. "Okay, you've got to tell me what to do here! They are kind of freaking me out! What have you told them about me? Not the nubbin, right?" Scolding them mildly, Monica made them sit down. "I told them that you are their father," she explained to Chandler. He looked surprised at her. "Oh.." he said and turned to the kids. Chandler had always known what to say in an awkward and difficult situation, but this might very well be the first time he was speechless. 

Monica coughed as if to urge him to go on. "So.. kids.. Are you okay with that?" he asked nervously. Vicky didn't say anything, she just grabbed his hand while Bryan said sarcastically: "Well, I don't think we have any choice. You are a part of our family now." "And there's your DNA-test, buddy!" Ross laughed and nudged Chandler who grinned slightly. Monica and Rachel smiled and looked at each other. 

Suddenly, Monica noticed a weird smell. "Rachel, what are we having for dinner?" she asked. "Well, I've made an English chicken dish with vegetables and a delicious sauce.." Monica put her hand up to stop her. "Well, then I suggest you should go and take a look at it." Rachel didn't get Monica's drift. "Why? It should be done in five min..." Suddenly she noticed the smell as well. "Noooooo!" she cried, running towards the kitchen. A couple of seconds later she returned and picked up the phone. "Anyone up for pizza?" she murmured as she dialled the number.

*****

Ross smiled at Rachel. He was sitting next to her in the living-room. Monica and Chandler and the kids had already left. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm very proud of your cooking today," he grinned. Rachel glared at him. "Oh, come on, you know I'm a terrible chef. I can't even make a decent cup of coffee." Ross giggled, but didn't say anything, "This is where you tell me that I'm wrong, and I make great coffee," Rachel said jokingly. Ross gazed into her eyes and grabbed her hands. "Look, that's not the point, okay? Yeah, maybe you screwed up, but the most important thing is that you tried!" Rachel smiled weakly at him. "Thanks, Ross."

Silence ensued, and Rachel felt a bit awkward. Finally, Ross turned to her and took a deep breath. "Rach, I've got something to tell you." Rachel listened intently to his story. He had been going out with a girl, Diane, for almost a year now. She was a lot like Monica, he said. "She's very into this marriage-thing." Rachel chuckled. He had had a great time with Diane, and on one of their dates about a month ago she had proposed to him. "And I've got to tell you, I was rather surprised, because I thought that was my job!" Ross laughed "Well, maybe I'm just old-fashioned or something. Or maybe I've proposed too many times already." 

Rachel didn't understand why he was telling her these things. "So, what was your answer?" she asked politely. She was glad he couldn't see how her hands were trembling in her lap. "Well, that's the problem, I haven't answered yet." Rachel looked surprised at him. Ross averted his eyes from Rachel's curious look. "Well, I guess I'm the biggest idiot in the world right now, but.. well.. my second wife came from Britain.." "Wait a second," Rachel interrupted. "You're not thinking about getting back together with Emily, are you?" Ross laughed. "Of course not. If you would just let me finish! My third wife said "I do" in a drunken stupor in Vegas.." Rachel smiled at the memory, or rather the lack of memory. "And my first wife, well, she's now raising my son together with her wife. Well, I guess my point is that I don't want to mess up my fourth marriage. I want this one to last forever." Rachel didn't quite know what to say. "I'm hardly the person to give you advice," Rachel said. "I'm not very good at weddings." Ross took her hands again and said quietly: "Well, maybe I'm not looking for advice. I can get advice from every person living on this planet, including Joey, but what I really need is a wife and friend who understands me and cares for me in spite of my dinosaur ties."

Rachel was shocked. She felt completely numb and could not utter a word. "So what I'm trying to say is: Do you think we should give us another shot? Because what we had was so special, Rach. You know that as well as I do." Ross stared at her hoping to get an answer, but Rachel didn't have one, so she exclaimed the first word that popped into her head: "Coffee?" She jumped up and ran off to the kitchen.

*****

Monica looked at her kids one last time before she left the hotel-room. They were asleep, and they had been totally exhausted on the way home from Rachel's. It had been a very long day. Monica went downstairs to the bar in search for a drink. However, she had not expected to see him there. Chandler was sitting there staring at his glass of whisky. Monica walked over and sat down next to him. "Hi, Chandler," she said quietly. Chandler looked up at her. Stunned, Monica realised that he had been crying. "I've been waiting for you," he replied. "We haven't talked much since I found out about my son and daughter." He lifted his glass and downed it. "I agree," Monica nodded. "There are several things we need to figure out.." Chandler smacked his hand on the table. "Oh, really?" he hissed. "Like what? That I'll be able to see my kids once every ten years? That they'll never have their real last name? That you'll be living in Europe preventing me from seeing them? Or the fact that I never got a chance to see Bryan taking his first step or Vicky saying her first words?" Monica cringed at the sound of his voice. "Look, I know I made a terrible mistake.." "No, you don't know!" Chandler sat down again. He looked angrily at her. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you," he said. 

Monica ordered a drink and turned to face her former boyfriend. "Okay, I know I deserve this, but my life hasn't been a bed of roses either! I had to struggle to make ends meet at first, because who would hire a pregnant American chef? Being a single mom is no piece of cake." "Well, you didn't exactly let the father help, did you?" Chandler wasn't that furious now, but she could sense how hurt he was. "Chandler, I want you to be a part of your children's lives. Really, I do! We'll figure something out." 

Suddenly, Monica remembered something. She took his hand and looked sadly at him. "But what are you going to tell Amy?" Chandler froze. "You know about her?" he whispered. "Rachel told me," Monica said. "Oh, by the way, congratulations. And thanks for the invitation to the wedding," she said bitterly. "Monica, I .. I know I should have invited you, but, well, the image of Ross's wedding in London kept popping up in my head. I guess I didn't want to say your name during the vows." He put his head in his hands. "But it doesn't really matter now, anyway.. The outcome is the same." 

"What are you talking about?" Monica asked. Chandler stared at her. "Wait a minute, you don't know why? Didn't Rachel tell you?" "What?" Monica asked nervously. "I thought she had told every person in London by now. Amy and I are separated." Monica felt like her jaws had dropped to the floor. "Oh my.." she whispered as she fell down from the chair, and everything went black.

*****

Rachel had never been very good at making coffee, but the coffee she was making right now would be at least ten times worse than the one she had served the gang that one time. They had all turned a little green, and even Gunther had refused another cup.

Rachel had no idea what she was doing, she felt like her body was moving around like a robot while her thoughts were still in the living-room with Ross. "Just what I needed. A kind of proposal," she muttered. "Monica should have got one instead," she thought. "They were so great together. But Ross and I.." She stared at the coffee cups completely lost in thought. 

Suddenly, the phone rang. Rachel snapped awake from her daydream and picked it up. "Hi, Rach!" a voice cried. "Phoebe?!" Rachel was stunned. "Oh, my.. You haven't called for ages!" Phoebe giggled. "You're right! But an e-mail just isn't the same, you know? So, how is Ross? Are you guys lobsters yet?" "What?" Rachel gasped. "How did you know that Ross is here?" "Never underestimate my powers," Phoebe said proudly. "And the fact that I talked to Ross a couple of days before he left for England." "Oh." Rachel shook her head. Phoebe would never change, that was for sure. 

"Well," Rachel took a deep breath. "He just asked me to get back together again." " I know," Phoebe giggled. "I told him what to say." "You did what?!?" Rachel was genuinely shocked. Why had they all ganged up on her? At least it felt that way. Phoebe stopped giggling. "Anyway, I'd like to end this never-ending saga right here, right now. You just get your ass back in that living-room and accept his remarkable offer." "Remarkable?" Rachel commented dryly. "I think I've heard the words before." 

"Look," Phoebe sighed. "We are all sick and tired of you guys wanting to be together, but never actually going through with it. Just go out there and do it! Make yourself happy! Trust me, you won't regret it!" "But.." Rachel didn't know what to say, so Phoebe kept talking. "Oh, by the way, have you heard my new single? It's called: "Eating An Orange While Driving A Cab". It's awesome! And you know, it's got a lot of hidden meanings. I'm going to release an album in June. I just called it "A Chair That's Missing A Leg", because I wanted people to understand what it was all about." "Oh," Rachel said. She had no idea what Phoebe was talking about, because she couldn't stop thinking about Ross. 

"Phoebe, would you please excuse me? Can I call you back later or something? Okay, bye!" Rachel quickly hang up the phone and rubbed her temples. This was just too hard. If only Monica had been here! She would have known what to do. She took off her apron and gained some strength and confidence and sauntered into the living-room. She tried to act casually, but her feelings were so messed up that she didn't quite know what she was doing. 

Ross was rhythmically tapping on the table while humming the "Star Wars" theme. Suddenly, he noticed her. He stopped humming and smiled at her. "What took you so long? You didn't actually make coffee, did you?" he asked. Rachel gasped. "Damn it! I forgot about that," she cried. She ran back to the kitchen, only to find that the coffee had boiled over and her kitchen now looked like a disaster-area. Ross followed her and remarked dryly: "Wow, Monica and her Wonder-Mop should have been here now." Rachel gave him a quick look. "I was thinking about that myself," she murmured. 

She looked up at him and continued: " Ross, I don't know what to say.. I mean, you come here to London for the first time in years, and you drop this bomb on me out of the blue that you want to get back together with me again. It's been eleven years since we were an item, Ross. You have changed, and so have I. How do you know this is going to work? And how.." Rachel didn't get any further, because Ross grabbed her and kissed her passionately. After a couple of seconds he pulled away. Rachel opened her eyes slowly. Speechless, she gently caressed his cheek with her fingers. Pulling him closer to her, she kissed him. And she finally felt home. 

*****

Chandler was worriedly hovering over Monica. The doctor had to order him out of his way while he was examining her. Chandler had carried Monica to her room and called for the doctor right away. She had woken up again after while, but she seemed to be okay now. The doctor gave her a couple of pills and then took off. She was lying on the bed. Her eyes were closed, but Chandler knew that she wasn't asleep. He sat down on the bed and grabbed her hand. "Monica, I want you to look at me," he said quietly, and Monica obeyed. "Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just thought that you knew about my screwed up marriage, and I really didn't expect you to react like that." Chandler hoped she would forgive him, because he felt terribly guilty. 

"How did you think I was going to react?" Monica asked monotonously, still staring at the ceiling. "I find out that my former boyfriend and the father of my children who I loved for years is in fact married. The next second he's getting a divorce." Chandler looked at her with a surprised and guilty look on his face. "I didn't know that, I'm sorry. But I thought you hated me! I mean, you took off, and I didn't see you for years! I thought you didn't care about me anymore." Chandler put his head in his hands. "What was I supposed to believe? I thought our relationship was really going somewhere, and then all of a sudden you ran off to Europe." 

Monica sighed. "Let's not talk about the past, Chandler," she said. "There's nothing we can do about it now. We both made horrible mistakes, but more importantly, we made two children." Chandler nodded. "But there's something I need to ask you, though," he said. "Why are you staying here?" Monica gave him a confused a look. "What do you mean? Rachel didn't have enough room for the three of us." "Fair enough, but why are you staying in this particular room?" Chandler scrutinised her face searching for an answer to the question that went through his head again and again. Did she still love him? 

Monica felt that she was blushing as she realised that he had spotted the room number and remembered that night ten years ago. Should she tell him the reason why? No, she couldn't, he would just laugh in her face. 

"Well?" Chandler was demanding an answer. "It's such a nice hotel, and the view from this part of the hotel is fabulous," she babbled. Chandler gave her a funny look. "Oh, really?" he said and raised his eyebrows. "Because according to my calendar tonight would have been our ten years anniversary. We got together in this room ten years ago." "Really? Wow, that is a freaky coincidence." Monica said and forced herself to laugh. "Oh, I don't think so," Chandler smiled. "Especially since I sent the kids over to Rachel's house as soon as I found out. I think it's best that we talk about our future without them finding out all the details of our past." He shrugged and continued: "Look, you obviously still have feelings for me, so maybe we can be able to work something out so that the kids will be able to see both their parents. Believe me, it sucks not having a father around." Monica fidgeted with the cover on the bed. "I don't have feelings for you," she mumbled, but Chandler ignored her. "And what are we going to do about the custody?" she continued and closed her eyes. She couldn't look at him right now. 

An awkward silence ensued, and he leaned down to her whispering: "What we really should be thinking about right now isn't custody, but our anniversary."

Monica didn't even make an attempt to pull away when he let his lips gently brush hers. She could vividly remember the touch of his lips as she opened her eyes wondering if she was still awake or if this was merely a dream. But there he was, his face only a couple of inches away from her. He caressed her face with his fingers before leaning down again, and the kiss became more passionate this time. All the longing and sorrow that had dominated their lives for so many years resulted in an embrace where they were clinging to each other. She grabbed his neck, pulling him closer to her as if she would never let go. 

An image flashed through her mind, an image of the two of them giving in to their feelings exactly ten years ago in the exact same room. He had followed her to her room at first and given her a friendly hug to tell her that everything was going to be okay. He had left as she had closed the door, but she hadn't understood why her heart had been beating so fast. She had taken off her dress and put on a robe and was ready to go to bed when he had called her. "I hit my head in the doorframe," he had said. "It's bleeding, too. Do you have any gauze? I could use a nurse." 

Monica had walked over to his room with it, and she had started putting on a small bandage on his forehead immediately. As she was helping him, she had noticed that he had been staring at her. She had glanced at him. "What's wrong?" she had said. Chandler hadn't uttered a word, he had just leaned in and given her the most amazing kiss. And suddenly they had crossed the line. They weren't just friends anymore, they had realised that their friendship had grown into something more serious. 

Monica knew that that night had not been just about wild passion, it had also been about pure love between two people who knew each other almost better than they knew themselves. True enough, they had been drinking a little, but there was something more than that. They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other and had completely lost track of time. None of them were drunk now, but the passion between them had never been stronger. They hadn't seen each other for years, trying to forget about the other one, but they realised now that their attempts to forget had failed miserably. "Oh, my god, I've missed you so much," Monica mumbled in between the kisses, and she thanked her lucky star for returning to London. 

*****

Monica woke up as the sunshine filled the room with a creamy, soft light. She yawned and was startled to feel two arms holding her tight. But then she remembered and smiled. She looked up at him, realising he was already awake. "Good morning," he smiled lovingly. "Did you have a good night's sleep?" Monica giggled. "Well, I had a great night, but a short night's sleep," she replied. Chandler kissed her forehead and looked out the window. "Do you realise I never got a chance to do this ten years ago?" he asked. "What do you mean?" Monica looked questioningly at him. "You know, this! Lying in bed, just holding you in my arms."

Monica was touched. He seemed so different. It was almost as if he had grown up. He was not clumsy or aloof anymore, he just seemed like an adult. 

"You have changed," she mused. "I'm going to have to get to know you all over again." Chandler looked hopefully at her. "Does this mean that I'll get to see the kids? Are you moving back to America?" He seemed so genuinely happy that she could not help smiling. "Yes, I can't take them away from you forever. Because I really made a terrible mistake eight years ago." She did not dare to look at him, so she just put her arm on his chest. "You weren't the only one who made a mistake back then," Chandler mumbled. "I really messed up. I even married this great woman who said she loved me, but then she ran off with Joey's girlfriend.. It was ugly.. And I couldn't forget about the only woman I have ever really loved; you." "Nice monologue," Monica quipped. "I'm not finished yet," Chandler said. "The main point is that I should never have let you go in the first place." 

"Did it ever occur to you that I was so confused and scared that nothing could have stopped me?" Monica said. Chandler looked at her quizzically. "Well, I guess I've forgotten how stubborn you are," he shrugged, "but let's go back to America together with our children. They've got to meet Joey and Phoebe! I mean, I can't wait to see the look on Joey's face when he learns that I'm a father!" Monica smiled a little and kissed him. "Actually, he already knows, and so does Phoebe. I made them promise not to tell you. I'm sorry.. Joey was truly shocked when I told him." "Is there anyone in the world besides me who didn't know that I am a father?" Chandler snapped. 

Monica pulled herself up and put her chin on his chest. Looking apologetically at him, she promised him that she would never hide anything from him again. Chandler thought about what she said before pulling her down to him and kissing her again. "Do you have any idea how stupid I was when I fell in love with you? I had no idea what I was getting into," he remarked dryly. "But I do love you, I love you so much.." Monica smiled at him. "I love you, too," she said with tears in her eyes. 

Knowing that he had forgiven her, she asked nervously: "So are you ready to be their father? They'll want you to be around, you know." He kissed her gently again. "I'll do my best. And I won't run off with the butler either." Monica giggled, and he put his fingers under her chin. "But you'll have to come to the USA. Leave Europe, Monica. Your home is in America, you know that." She sighed. "I know, but it's going to be hard. I like living in Switzerland, and Vicky and Bryan have never even been to the USA." "It's about time, then," Chandler said. "Yes, it is," Monica whispered, wrapping her arms around him. 

They were just lying in bed holding each other. Chandler had eventually fallen asleep, but Monica was too happy to sleep. She could not believe that this was actually happening. All the missing pieces in her life were finally falling into place. 

Suddenly, she heard someone knocking on the door, and she could hear Rachel, Vicky and Bryan talking outside. She slowly extricated herself out of Chandler's arms and put on a robe. Glancing lovingly at him, she walked over to the door and opened it, but the security bar was still on. Ross, Rachel and her kids were standing there. "You guys are already here?" she said as she looked wonderingly at them. "I thought we were going to meet downstairs at noon!" Rachel looked at her with a funny look on her face. "Well, we were waiting for 20 minutes, but then we decided to come and look for you," she said, "and by the way, why don't you let us in?" Monica smiled sheepishly. "It's already noon? Oh, well, I'm sorry, but you can't come in right now. It looks like a mess here, so I'd rather that you guys just go downstairs and wait for us.. I mean.. me there. I need some time to clean this place up." 

"Something's going on here, Monica, I know it!" Rachel exclaimed and tried to look inside the room. She noticed some clothes strewn on the floor. Raising her eyebrows, she suddenly realised what was going on. "Oh, really," she smirked, but Monica looked at her, begging her to keep quiet. Rachel was so happy for her, and she turned to Ross and the kids and told them that they should do what Monica said. They started walking down the hall, and Rachel gave Monica the thumbs-up sign.

Monica closed the door and saw that Chandler was still asleep. She tiptoed over to the bed and sat down beside him. Monica wondered what would happen now. Was he really willing to give them another chance? She truly hoped so as she leaned down and kissed him lovingly on the lips. Chandler startled awake, but he put his arm around her waist and kissed her with building passion. Monica pulled away after some intense moments and whispered: "Rachel, Ross and the kids are waiting for us downstairs." Chandler groaned. "I'd rather spend the day here in this room together with you," he said with a mischievous grin, "but I guess we should join them." It took some time for them to get ready, but finally they went downstairs holding hands. 

Rachel didn't look particularly surprised when she spotted them entering the restaurant. Ross was busy chewing on a slice of bread, but when he noticed Chandler and Monica together, his jaws dropped to the floor. "But.. What.. Are you guys..?" he stammered out. Vicky and Bryan on the other hand, just giggled and gave their parents funny looks. "See, I told you it would work out between them!" Vicky whispered to her brother. 

Chandler smiled at them. "Good morning," he said happily as he pulled the chair out for Monica. The two of them sat down, while Ross and Rachel demanded an explanation. "Well," Monica grinned, "I guess we finally realised that we still have feelings for each other. And those feelings haven't died or faded away even after years of separation." 

Rachel shook her head as she saw the couple holding hands and looking lovingly at each other. Vicky and Bryan jumped up and gave their mother a big hug. Suddenly, feeling a bit shy, Vicky glanced at her father. "So, does this mean that you're going to come with us to Switzerland and play together with us there?" Bryan laughed. "Well, we have to teach him how at first, because basically, you suck at Frisbee, dad!" Bryan remarked. Chandler beamed at Monica after hearing the word "dad" for the first time. He looked at Monica before answering. "Well, we'll be together, but not in Switzerland. You see, your mother and I have decided that you should come and live with me in New York." The kids gasped. "But we have to find a different house, 'cause I've only got a small apartment right now." The children screamed with joy, and the patrons around them glared at the reunited family. 

Ross and Rachel looked happily at them, before Ross cleared his throat to get his friends' attention. "Mon, Chandler? Since we have started telling each other happy news, I've got some as well." Monica and Chandler turned around to face Ross and Rachel while Vicky crawled into her father's lap and Bryan stood next to his mom. "You see, Rachel and I have decided to try to solve our problems, as well. Anyway, we are going out on a date tonight, so maybe.." He trailed off, and Rachel squeezed his hand lovingly. "Oh, that's so great!" Monica cried. They congratulated each other and started eating lunch. 

After a couple of minutes Chandler leaned over to Monica and whispered softly: "We are going to make this work, you know? Because I love you, and nothing can ever change that. Nothing." Monica beamed at him, before she kissed him tenderly. "I love you too," she whispered. They gazed into each other's eyes, knowing that this time it would last. "You know what else I love?" Monica whispered. " I love our children, and I love London, the city that has brought us together twice now." Chandler smiled and kissed her.

Across the table the other couple observed their friends' new-found happiness. "Well," Ross remarked dryly, "they obviously went all the way last night, if you know what I mean." Rachel chuckled. "Yes, they did. I even noticed Chandler's clothes in Monica's room." "Are you sad we didn't do the same?" Ross asked. Rachel looked surprised at him. "No, I think it's better that we take this slowly. But I do think that we might end up just as happy as those lovebirds," she answered with a slight smile. "I agree," Ross mused. "So, where do you want to go tonight?"

* * *

****

EPILOGUE

New York, June 2009

The aisle of the church was covered in pink rose petals. Bryan thought it looked silly, but Vicky had begged her mom, so his sister was now busy throwing them all over the place. His mother had been worried about the mess, but Rachel had convinced her that it would be perfect. 

Rachel was looking at the whole scenario with a smile on her face. Vicky was adorable in a white silk dress that was a miniature version of her mother's wedding dress. Bryan, on the other hand, looked extremely uncomfortable wearing the new tux she and Ross had given him for Christmas. 

Most of the guests had already arrived and were sitting in the pews, while Rachel was standing in the back of the church with her hand resting on her growing belly. She didn't think it was very appropriate to be six months pregnant and maid of honour, but she just couldn't turn her best friend down. 

Rachel walked over to the entrance and met Ross there. "Hi, sweetie," he smiled. "How are you feeling?" "I'm just fine," Rachel assured him. "Relax, Ross. It's going to be fine. I'm pregnant, not ill!" "I'm sorry, it's just that.. you know.. we're going to be standing up there at the altar for a long time.." "Don't worry about it, okay? I can handle it! And by the way, you're going to be up there as well, right? You'll take care of me. But now we need to focus on Monica and Chandler. After all, it's their wedding." She pecked him on the cheek. "You just focus on being the best man, okay?" Ross nodded and put his hand around her waist.

Monica stared at herself in the mirror. "This is it.." she whispered. "You bet it is," Phoebe laughed, entering the room. She was clutching the bouquet, and she walked over to Monica and gave her a hug. "Don't you make me cry, it'll ruin my make-up!" Monica sniffled. Phoebe pulled away and handed Monica her bouquet before blowing her nose. "You look so pretty, Mon," Phoebe said, sniffling. Monica smiled. "Thank god I caught your bouquet at your wedding a couple of months ago," she said. "I think that was the push that Chandler needed to actually going through with this. After all, it is his second time." Phoebe nodded. "It probably was," she said, "but I've got to go and find my seat, okay? Good luck! Oh, by the way, you have no idea how great the wedding march is going to be! I made up one especially for you guys! Wait 'till you hear the accordion and the bagpipes!" Monica got a worried expression on her face, but Phoebe was already gone. 

She studied herself in the mirror one last time. The dress was simple, yet very elegant, and little white pearls were embroidered all the way down the skirt and the train. A small tiara kept the veil in place, and the bouquet consisted of tiny, pale pink roses. She cleared her throat. "I do," she said. "I do, I do, I do." She turned away from the mirror and took a deep breath. 

Chandler had never been so nervous in his entire life, but he did not really understand why he was feeling that way. "What if I screw up this marriage as well?" he asked himself. But then he heard the voice of reason in the back of his head. "It's going to be fine. Your bride is Monica, the woman you love. You know her, she is nothing like Amy.." He glanced over at Ross and Joey who were standing next to him. Ross was staring lovingly at the pregnant Rachel who was looking a lot better than the last time she had been a maid of honour. The memory of Rachel dressed up like Princess Bubble Gum made him smile. Joey was busy flirting with one of the other bridesmaids. "Oh, well," Chandler thought. "Some things never change." 

He looked at the aisle, completely covered in rose petals, and he tried not to laugh at the sight of his daughter walking up the aisle throwing them on the pews. Bryan, the ring bearer looked bored, sitting in the first pew.

Suddenly, Chandler spotted Monica. And he knew there was nothing to be afraid of. She looked so happy walking down the aisle escorted by her father, and he felt exactly the same way. Their relationship had been weird and unconventional, and they had not seen each other in years, but the bond between them had been strong enough to survive the long separation. They smiled at each other. Monica pecked her father on the cheek and took Chandler's hand. 

Suddenly, they heard Phoebe and her wedding march. She was actually shouting to be heard, because the bagpipes were so loud, but who cared? It was their wedding, and even if they had to do it the "Scottish" way with bag pipes, he couldn't care less. 

Rachel was on the verge of tears during the ceremony, and fortunately the pale yellow dress she was wearing came with a pocket in which Rachel had stuffed dozens of tissues. 

Monica and Chandler gave their vows, and the priest announced them man and wife. "Finally her dream has come true," Rachel thought. "And so has mine." She touched her ring again. "In a year I'll be standing there," she mused as the ceremony ended, and Chandler kissed his wife lovingly. Chandler and Monica beamed with happiness as they walked down the aisle. Smiling, Rachel took Ross's hand, and they followed the bride and groom. 

*****

They were half-way through the dinner when Chandler stood up, clearing his throat. He had hated this part ever since that disastrous rehearsal dinner in London, but he had to do it. Refusing to give a speech at his first wedding, he had made Amy pretty upset and furious, but it was different this time. In addition to the fact that he was now marrying the woman of his dreams, he was getting two kids as well! Everybody looked at him, and he started talking. 

"Eleven years ago I finally got to kiss the woman I was destined to be with," he said. "We had already known each other for years by then. Well, I don't know about her, but I really enjoyed that kiss. I guess she would have enjoyed anything considering she was a little drunk." He grinned teasingly at his wife who glared at him. The guests laughed, and Chandler continued. "I enjoyed the many kisses that followed as well. Anyway, our relationship started back then, but we have been friends for almost twenty years now. So I feel like I know what's going to happen between the two of us. On the other hand, she did run off nine years ago, and I hardly heard from her at all. But then we ran into each other in London a year ago. This past year has been like a dream come true to me. I've become a father, and like Ross told me a couple of months ago: I've now become "a grown-up geek, not a childish geek." I'll take that as a compliment, I think.." Monica smiled at her husband. "Well, I don't know what else to tell you guys than that I've never been this happy. I love my wife, and I love my kids.. and, by the way, Bryan, I'm going to beat you in foosball as soon as your mother and I return from our honeymoon." 

Suddenly, Monica jumped up and grabbed the microphone that Chandler was holding. "Chandler," she interrupted. "I'll take it from here, honey. I've got something I'd like to say, too!" She kissed him and continued: "First of all: Yes, I was a little drunk in London, but I knew perfectly well what I was doing." She paused and nudged him. "Second of all: I think it's great that we met in London a year ago, but it's too bad you didn't behave like a proper gentleman and helped me with all my bags after we had been sitting there on the bench talking. Well, I guess you can make up for it by carrying me over the threshold tonight. The third thing I wanted to tell you is that you'll never beat Bryan in foosball, 'cause he is too good. After all, I taught him how to play!" The guests chuckled, well aware of the foosball-cups that had been arranged in the Geller-Bing household over the last year. 

Monica took a deep breath. "And the last thing I wanted to tell you, Chandler.. and the rest of you guys.. is that in seven months time, there'll be another Bing in our home." Chandler looked shocked at her, but then he jumped up and kissed her lovingly. The guests cheered and applauded, and Joey turned to Ross asking: "Geez, what's happening with you guys? All you ever do is having babies!" Ross glared at him.

Chandler put his hand on Monica's belly and lifted his glass. "You know what?" he announced loudly. "I'd like to propose a toast. A toast to London!" Ross, Rachel and Monica laughed along with the other guests and clinked their glasses. "Too bad you and I can't drink proper champagne," Rachel smiled at Monica. But they all knew that that didn't matter at all. The only thing that mattered now was that they were together again after years of being alone and miserable. The friends were reunited at last.

* * *

   [1]: mailto:ariel_b@chickmail.com



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